Fuelled By Drugs, Alcohol And Terrible Decisions

Embroidered morale patch with a merrowed border and hook-and-loop backing.

Choose your size in the customiser.

Dispatched within 24 hours on working days. Free tracked UK shipping from £30.

Remove before washing the garment. Wipe clean with a damp cloth. Do not tumble dry or iron directly on the embroidery.

Not legal advice.

Just an honest assessment of how some people seem to navigate life.

Whether you're the friend with questionable judgement or the one constantly cleaning up after them, this patch delivers maximum dark humour with minimum effort.

This embroidered morale patch is part of our Off The Shelf Text Patch Range — meaning you get premium embroidery with full colour customisation.

Perfect for backpacks, patch walls, work bags, plate carriers or anywhere dark humour is appreciated.

📏 Patch Specifications

• Size: 2"x3" | 2"x4" | 3"x6"
• Professionally embroidered
• Hook & loop backing (Velcro compatible)
• Merrowed border
• Durable stitch density
• Made to order in the UK

🎨 Choose Your Colours

✔ 4 Fabric Colours
✔ 25 Thread Colour Options

Keep it subtle in black-on-black
Or go loud with high-contrast thread

Your patch. Your setup.

🎒 Perfect For

• Tactical backpacks
• Plate carriers
• Airsoft & MilSim
• Range bags
• Office bags (if you dare)
• Funny gift for caffeine addicts

🇬🇧 Made To Order

Each patch is embroidered to order using your selected fabric and thread colour combination.